the dKol la femme project
where vulnerability meets liberation

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A note of gratitude: Dear Kristin

So here I am, starting my first note of gratitude that I’m sharing publicly. I plan on writing more of these, along with Kay, but we both want to invite you to write in to us and share with us a note of gratitude that you would like to post to the la femme community. I encourage you to write in to stories@thedkollafemmeproject.com with your note and be sure to tell us who you and your friend are, so we can be sure to tag them into the note!

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PLEASE KEEP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS TO YOURSELF

I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and I am really embarrassed. After sitting with “the situation” I am referring to for a few days, it dawned on me that it was time to use my own voice and blog about this recent situation I experienced. In this situation I am referencing, I noticed that someone’s voice was stripped from them because of catty talk that ultimately translated to adults bullying kids under their breath. This fell upon my ears as I was in clear ear shot to the adults talking off to the side. What I noticed was these adults were also just steps away from their own children who were sitting together speaking on the same topic, and unfortunately in the same way as their parents. 

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Suicide Awareness Starts With Consciousness And Differs With Perception

What a cowardly thing to do.” “How selfish of them” “What about the kids?” “How could they do something like this to their loved ones?” “But, they were always so happy.” “Why didn’t they ask for help?” Do these “innocent” phrases sound familiar to you? Surely, you’ve heard at least one of these statements from at least one participant in every conversation you’ve had about suicide. Maybe you, yourself have even uttered these normalized expressions of grievances. Am I right? Now – if you’ve said these things, or anything having a similar meaning when discussing someone who’s committed suicide, before you feel attacked or defensive, please listen…

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the dKol la femme project: anonymity

You are so used to being identified and known for what or who they think you “are”… are you your job, are you your disease, are you your abuse, are you your anxiety, your gender, your body, your looks? Your answer to this question doesn’t matter because really, you are what they choose to define you as today, likely to be different tomorrow. But, you know that you are not defined by what you do, or how you look, or any one single thing that builds the package that is you. The pressure of creating definitions, and attempting to fit pieces of you into varying small little boxes feels like too much to handle. You’re left standing there holding pieces of yourself that have no place wondering where these “you’s” belong.

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the dKol la femme project: abuse + bulimia

From a young age, Ashley saw the challenges and darkness that life can bring. She saw instability, fighting, sickness, alcoholism, death, physical-mental-sexual abuse at the hands of someone she should have been able to trust, and discomfort in her own house; and soon her own skin. She felt like she had no control of her life, no opinion, and nothing was her own. So – she did something, something that could be her own, something that she could regulate, and something that she now wishes she could go back and reverse; knowing what she knows now.  

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the dKol la femme project: the him and they

This very session was pivotal in the direction la femme was/is heading in. We wrestled with changing the name of the business, we spoke about possibly making two branches, and then after some real soul searching, it dawned on us that la femme is about femininity NOT GENDER! 

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the dKol la femme project: breast cancer

Their story is intense, it is emotional, it’s sad, and it is personal, but most of all it is celebratory and inspiring. This is the story of Loretta, Christine, and Jamie; a mother and her two daughters. A mother and her two daughters who have been through so much, have struggled, and have fought. A mother and her oldest daughter diagnosed with breast cancer; tragic and heartbreaking, yet this mother (Loretta) radiates with nothing but positivity. The love between these girls is so overwhelming you can actually feel it. 

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the dKol la femme project: this is my body

The mirror has always been my biggest enemy. I have always looked at it with disgust, picking every flaw apart, overanalyzing, and wishing to be something I wasn’t. Wishing I would see a different reflection, wishing my legs were smaller, or my stomach was flatter, that I was a little shorter and much skinner. Never did I look in the mirror and see the good. Everything that I ate that wasn’t within my normal healthy regimen made me feel fat and regretful, immediately. How exhausting and sad is that? I’ll tell you, the answer is very, it’s all consuming actually. 


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the young girls of the la femme movement

What if together we can begin a local movement to allow all ages to write in and share their stories. Whether they want to write, share photographs, lyrics, or have us help them share their thoughts in a way that allows them to creatively express their feelings so that others can resonate in them and realize that together we are more powerful than the isolation that we sometimes feel in our own thoughts.

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the dKol la femme project: embryo adoption

the dKol la femme project meets Kerri & Chris Morgan, a couple who undergoes failed IVF, and are lucky enough to be able adopt two embryos. The first embryo transfer was not a success. The second embryo is a healthy little boy who is well into his second trimester.

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