Disassociation
defintion
disassociate: a mental process that involves disconnecting from one’s thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity.
Variations to how we disassociate
Have you ever found yourself daydreaming? Or getting lost in a book? Or have you been driving and arrived at your destination but have no memory of how you got there? If so, you were disassociating. You were taking time to get a break from your current situation, stressor or environment. It is a type of coping mechanism that we sometime turn to in order for us to get some relief from our day.
For some of us we may have taught ourselves this technique of turning inward when our outward environment has become too overwhelming due to conflict, wanting to avoid interactions with others who are toxic to our wellbeing or we’ve been reminded of an old memory, feeling or thought that is unpleasant, to name just a few examples. Some may turn to people please to avoid any further conflict to just appease the person we are wanting to avoid. Trauma is stored in our body and mind and we can inadvertently become triggered when our sensory system picks up on something familiar about a past memory. You may notice a certain scent, a correlation to a sound, a physical touch, or even notice that there is a familiarity to the environment you are in.
Some disassociation can cause avoidance of feeling our feels. However, it's important to note that not all disassociating is bad. It allows for intense focus and as we learn how and when to enter these meditative states to occur we can largely gain from these sessions.
rest is restorative
you deserve a break
How can we actively invite calm into our space?
We can benefit from finding ways to comfort ourselves with activities that bring us a sense of security so that we can feel peace. It’s important to remember that coping only offers a short term break so we many need to cycle through a variety of them to feel satisfied by our intentional break. Also, we all have different combinations that work for us, so these are merely suggestions to get you thinking of ways to find a way to disconnect for a bit. It is not uncommon that sometimes our old coping skills stop working and that we may need to spend time exploring some new ways to get some self-care for ourselves. Practice kindness towards yourself as you begin to explore these options, creating new behaviors/routines take time. Keep in mind that when we are feeling unpleasant it can be awhile before we begin to notice our regulatory system knocking the intensity down a few notches.
What are some ways we can get some relief?
find a quiet space
put on comfortable clothing
light a candle
play music that invites the mood you want to create
create a calm and peaceful space in your home with a special blanket/pillow to read or journal at
explore your creativity- find new markers, crayons, paints, yarn, cross-stitch, pens, paper, and/or coloring books
schedule check in times throughout your day to see where you might be holding tension in your body
spend time in nature
write a letter to yourself giving yourself a pep talk (find a few things that you have made effort to do lately and reflect on giving yourself validation that you are going through a hard time and need extra love right now)
do an act of kindness for a friend or even a stranger
start a gratitude journal naming two things each day you’re thankful for and see if you can do this for 30 days
use sticky notes to place words of affirmation around areas that you frequent
ask someone to tell you about their favorite series they binge watched
love movies? read up on the writers/producers and learn more about what inspired them to create the movie
love music? learn more about the instruments that you seem to be drawn to in songs
love photos? find imagery online that can inspire you to take your own
look to find a hobby to teach yourself something new like woodworking or how to care for plants
ask for a hug
**SMALL STEPS are key. Practicing to take care of yourself intentionally may not come naturally for you, especially if this isn’t something you’ve tried in the past. And if you have, allow yourself some time to adjust to the idea that you’re looking for new ways since the old ways stopped working. Feel free to ask us to explore some more ways with you. Email us, we respond pretty quickly.
We see you showing up for yourself. We know days can be hard and others can be even harder. You are not alone. We are here for you to find community. Take some time to acknowledge how your thoughts and feelings matter, you deserve to validate your story. We believe you when you say today has been hard. Take some time to rest afterwards, this can be draining. And if you’re in need of additional support in this time we have a list of resources for you to explore.