The dKol la femme Project
where vulnerability meets liberation

blog

Inspired by: Trisha Hughes

Social media sometimes allows us to connect with people that we’ve never met before and sometimes those people provide a sense of companionship that even “the authors” don’t even realize how largely they’ve impacted others. With the right platform we are able to reach the masses and provide comfort in what sometimes feels so isolating.

Trisha Hughes is that person for me. And here’s a little bit on as to why.

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Be Our Ambassador

As you can read, we have mentioned how you can best help us now and as we set up to begin our first fundraiser. For obvious reasons, sharing our mission, our project, our stories is a driving force to spreading the word and helping us get out there. But we believe the key ingredient to helping us to reach your own networks, is if you add in your own voice.

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The dKol la femme Project: dKol's story

Here I go, unveiling my story, god this makes me feel extremely vulnerable and anxious.

How did I get here?

For as long as I can remember, I need to find a reason for everything. I’m seeking insight, accountability, I want growth. 

Life changed drastically for me in 2013. What I now know as depression and anxiety, words that were not on my radar during that first deep dark bout with depression. I didn’t understand what anxiety meant. What felt like endless weeks that eventually turned into months of feeling depleted of any positivity or happiness…

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Kay and Anxiety

It's like this constant pit in my stomach. It keeps turning ever so slightly, uneasy, and nauseating. It feels like it only takes the brush of a light breeze to send it whirling into full spiral mode. Grasping for anything that feels stable - anything that feels real in the world of make believe the mind creates.

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Danielle KolachikComment
the dKol la femme project: curves are beautiful. unless they’re my own.

Self-hate can come in many forms and in varying severities. For Melissa, this hate was severe enough to trigger harm at her own hands.  

“I cut myself for the first time when I was 11,” Melissa shared. She struggled to see the beauty within herself and to find enough self-love to bury the pain – even if it was just a little bit. She always found curves on women to be beautiful, yet when she looked in the mirror and saw her beautiful curves, she felt disgust. Why, she wondered, were curves beautiful unless they were reflecting back at her?

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The dKol la femme Project: SHARE

Follow us on social media (links below). Share our posts, put them in your stories, tell others what we stand for and what la femme means to YOU. Why do you follow along, what stories have you connected with, etc. The more passionate we can be, the bigger the community we will grow, in turn the more funding we can raise, which will help us offer a larger platform for more stories to be told. Help us get the message out to the community that we are a brand new charity and we need our mission to be heard.

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The dKol la femme Project: JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

If you have been connecting with our stories and would like to become a part of our growing team of volunteers, we would very much like to hear from you. We are in the process of creating a list of interested people in our community that will play key roles in helping us officially launch The dKol la femme Project in 2019.

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A note of gratitude: Dear Kristin

So here I am, starting my first note of gratitude that I’m sharing publicly. I plan on writing more of these, along with Kay, but we both want to invite you to write in to us and share with us a note of gratitude that you would like to post to the la femme community. I encourage you to write in to stories@thedkollafemmeproject.com with your note and be sure to tell us who you and your friend are, so we can be sure to tag them into the note!

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PLEASE KEEP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS TO YOURSELF

I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and I am really embarrassed. After sitting with “the situation” I am referring to for a few days, it dawned on me that it was time to use my own voice and blog about this recent situation I experienced. In this situation I am referencing, I noticed that someone’s voice was stripped from them because of catty talk that ultimately translated to adults bullying kids under their breath. This fell upon my ears as I was in clear ear shot to the adults talking off to the side. What I noticed was these adults were also just steps away from their own children who were sitting together speaking on the same topic, and unfortunately in the same way as their parents. 

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Suicide Awareness Starts With Consciousness And Differs With Perception

What a cowardly thing to do.” “How selfish of them” “What about the kids?” “How could they do something like this to their loved ones?” “But, they were always so happy.” “Why didn’t they ask for help?” Do these “innocent” phrases sound familiar to you? Surely, you’ve heard at least one of these statements from at least one participant in every conversation you’ve had about suicide. Maybe you, yourself have even uttered these normalized expressions of grievances. Am I right? Now – if you’ve said these things, or anything having a similar meaning when discussing someone who’s committed suicide, before you feel attacked or defensive, please listen…

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the dKol la femme project: anonymity

You are so used to being identified and known for what or who they think you “are”… are you your job, are you your disease, are you your abuse, are you your anxiety, your gender, your body, your looks? Your answer to this question doesn’t matter because really, you are what they choose to define you as today, likely to be different tomorrow. But, you know that you are not defined by what you do, or how you look, or any one single thing that builds the package that is you. The pressure of creating definitions, and attempting to fit pieces of you into varying small little boxes feels like too much to handle. You’re left standing there holding pieces of yourself that have no place wondering where these “you’s” belong.

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the dKol la femme project: abuse + bulimia

From a young age, Ashley saw the challenges and darkness that life can bring. She saw instability, fighting, sickness, alcoholism, death, physical-mental-sexual abuse at the hands of someone she should have been able to trust, and discomfort in her own house; and soon her own skin. She felt like she had no control of her life, no opinion, and nothing was her own. So – she did something, something that could be her own, something that she could regulate, and something that she now wishes she could go back and reverse; knowing what she knows now.  

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the dKol la femme project: the him and they

This very session was pivotal in the direction la femme was/is heading in. We wrestled with changing the name of the business, we spoke about possibly making two branches, and then after some real soul searching, it dawned on us that la femme is about femininity NOT GENDER! 

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the dKol la femme project: breast cancer

Their story is intense, it is emotional, it’s sad, and it is personal, but most of all it is celebratory and inspiring. This is the story of Loretta, Christine, and Jamie; a mother and her two daughters. A mother and her two daughters who have been through so much, have struggled, and have fought. A mother and her oldest daughter diagnosed with breast cancer; tragic and heartbreaking, yet this mother (Loretta) radiates with nothing but positivity. The love between these girls is so overwhelming you can actually feel it. 

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the dKol la femme project: this is my body

The mirror has always been my biggest enemy. I have always looked at it with disgust, picking every flaw apart, overanalyzing, and wishing to be something I wasn’t. Wishing I would see a different reflection, wishing my legs were smaller, or my stomach was flatter, that I was a little shorter and much skinner. Never did I look in the mirror and see the good. Everything that I ate that wasn’t within my normal healthy regimen made me feel fat and regretful, immediately. How exhausting and sad is that? I’ll tell you, the answer is very, it’s all consuming actually. 


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