Suicide Awareness Starts With Consciousness And Differs With Perception

“What a cowardly thing to do.”

“How selfish of them”

“What about the kids?”

“How could they do something like this to their loved ones?”

“But, they were always so happy.”

“Why didn’t they ask for help?”

Do these “innocent” phrases sound familiar to you? Surely, you’ve heard at least one of these statements from at least one participant in every conversation you’ve had about suicide. Maybe you, yourself have even uttered these normalized expressions of grievances. Am I right? Now – if you’ve said these things, or anything having a similar meaning when discussing someone who’s committed suicide, before you feel attacked or defensive, please listen…

I know that they stem from a good place in your heart. They are expressed because your heart aches for this person and the loved ones they left behind. They are said because for YOU, you cannot even fathom a person doing something like this to themselves. They are uttered out of a sheer place of having no awareness of the pain that someone feels – pain so great that the only available option at this time – within their reach – is to end it, and thus end the pain. They are a projection of not having the capacity to comprehend that this pain is greater than one person.

For those of you who do not understand suicide – I am happy for you, because this means that you have never felt the feeling that someone feels in those last moments of their life when they decide that this world, and everything in it would be better without them. You’ve never experienced the relief of that last moment knowing that it will end, and that they finally have control over this suffocating presence… For someone suffering with anxiety or depression, “rational” thoughts are often hard to find, and the complexity of feelings and emotions is so enormous. Understanding often feels out of reach for the person themselves, so asking someone else to understand isn’t actually fair.

The expression suicide awareness is something we’ve all heard, but do we all actually understand what awareness is. Awareness / a·ware·ness / noun / knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. Perception / per·cep·tion / noun / a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

Perception, you see, is where things can get a bit hazy, because perception is an individual’s apprehension of something – meaning, perception is not universal. The “universal meaning” for something is typically the accepted meaning, as in socially accepted, or accepted by popular opinion. With perception, there is room for altering interpretations, and with that, the creation and normalization of preconceived notions constructed through years of accepted terminologies.

Take these accepted and normal grievances we hear in relation to suicide; the problem with them is that they are based on perception – an outsiders understanding of the situation. By outsider I mean, not you. Even if you’ve experienced suicidal actions, thoughts, or have figuratively “been in this person’s shoes,” you literally haven’t. When the mind is met with the challenge of understanding something, and then interpreting it, it is nearly impossible to do with no interception or projections of personal beliefs, personal opinions, and personal traits. So, the saying “put yourself in their shoes” is actually not possible. Of course, this is a figure of speech, and it is meant to be perceived as, trying to consider what they’re going through. But, understand that try is all you can ever do, because until we stumble upon technology that actually transforms you into someone else – mind – body – soul – experiences – you’ll never even be able to attempt to understand how someone else is feeling in any given moment without adding your own interpretation that is entirely unique to you.

For this reason, I believe this is why we use the statement awareness – because it means trying to understand something personally, and interpreting it how you see fit.

In the attempt to be aware of the fact that you can never perceive any feeling or experience in the exact same way as any other individual, let’s consider some grievances that are more generalized and convey less of your view on the matter.

“They must have felt so much pain.”

“I can never understand what they could have been feeling.”

“I feel so sorry that their children are left without a parent.”

“Maybe their perceived happiness was a way to combat the pain they really felt every day.”

“I wish I could have helped, but maybe there is some way that I can help others.”

To me, suicide awareness doesn’t mean understanding suicide. But, instead it means that you are willing to acknowledge it, and take the time to form a less judgmental approach that does not lead with opinion. Since perception relies on personal interpretation, let’s instead consider the potential sources of suicidal actions that are more “factual” – depression, anxiety, self-hate, mental illness. First, acknowledge that these are real and affecting more individuals, and at younger ages, every day. Then familiarize yourself with their definitions, acknowledge their complexity, and look for ways to spread awareness and understanding of these issues, instead of interpreting how someone chose to deal with them. Find ways to encourage healing, and foster organizations that play a major role in this healing.

Let’s acknowledge that suicide awareness and suicide prevention may look different to others than it does to you. And, let’s understand that your perception of how you may have handled a situation often does not belong in certain arenas. I believe that the main takeaway here is that how you feel about it, and how you relate to it is your awareness – your interpretation – your experience. As much as we crave “accepted meanings” there is no universal understanding of suicide. But, talking about it, acknowledging depression – anxiety – self-hate – mental illness; this consciousness can help us create and build avenues that foster healing … and maybe we can save a life.

Xo – KayLyn