Boundaries

I have to admit that learning to set boundaries came to me at time when I felt least equipped. From what I account of that time period in particular came with lots of ups and downs and constantly feeling like I was being tested. Once I set one, I’d be challenged to be stronger and tougher at the next go around when someone was trying to take advantage of me. The tests came often, and then they became more spread out. What felt like mastery had been accomplished, another situation would pop up to challenge my skills yet again.

dKol la femme's voiceDanielle KolachikAugust 17, 2020boundaries, Empower women, empowermentComment

the dKol la femme project: dKol's story

Here I go, unveiling my story, god this makes me feel extremely vulnerable and anxious.

How did I get here?

For as long as I can remember, I need to find a reason for everything. I’m seeking insight, accountability, I want growth.

Life changed drastically for me in 2013. What I now know as depression and anxiety, words that were not on my radar during that first deep dark bout with depression. I didn’t understand what anxiety meant. What felt like endless weeks that eventually turned into months of feeling depleted of any positivity or happiness…

PLEASE KEEP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS TO YOURSELF

I’m frustrated, I’m angry, and I am really embarrassed. After sitting with “the situation” I am referring to for a few days, it dawned on me that it was time to use my own voice and blog about this recent situation I experienced. In this situation I am referencing, I noticed that someone’s voice was stripped from them because of catty talk that ultimately translated to adults bullying kids under their breath. This fell upon my ears as I was in clear ear shot to the adults talking off to the side. What I noticed was these adults were also just steps away from their own children who were sitting together speaking on the same topic, and unfortunately in the same way as their parents.

the dKol la femme project: anonymity

You are so used to being identified and known for what or who they think you “are”… are you your job, are you your disease, are you your abuse, are you your anxiety, your gender, your body, your looks? Your answer to this question doesn’t matter because really, you are what they choose to define you as today, likely to be different tomorrow. But, you know that you are not defined by what you do, or how you look, or any one single thing that builds the package that is you. The pressure of creating definitions, and attempting to fit pieces of you into varying small little boxes feels like too much to handle. You’re left standing there holding pieces of yourself that have no place wondering where these “you’s” belong.

the dKol la femme project: breast cancer

Their story is intense, it is emotional, it’s sad, and it is personal, but most of all it is celebratory and inspiring. This is the story of Loretta, Christine, and Jamie; a mother and her two daughters. A mother and her two daughters who have been through so much, have struggled, and have fought. A mother and her oldest daughter diagnosed with breast cancer; tragic and heartbreaking, yet this mother (Loretta) radiates with nothing but positivity. The love between these girls is so overwhelming you can actually feel it.

the dKol la femme project: this is my body

The mirror has always been my biggest enemy. I have always looked at it with disgust, picking every flaw apart, overanalyzing, and wishing to be something I wasn’t. Wishing I would see a different reflection, wishing my legs were smaller, or my stomach was flatter, that I was a little shorter and much skinner. Never did I look in the mirror and see the good. Everything that I ate that wasn’t within my normal healthy regimen made me feel fat and regretful, immediately. How exhausting and sad is that? I’ll tell you, the answer is very, it’s all consuming actually.

the young girls of the la femme movement

What if together we can begin a local movement to allow all ages to write in and share their stories. Whether they want to write, share photographs, lyrics, or have us help them share their thoughts in a way that allows them to creatively express their feelings so that others can resonate in them and realize that together we are more powerful than the isolation that we sometimes feel in our own thoughts.

the dKol la femme project: embryo adoption

the dKol la femme project meets Kerri & Chris Morgan, a couple who undergoes failed IVF, and are lucky enough to be able adopt two embryos. The first embryo transfer was not a success. The second embryo is a healthy little boy who is well into his second trimester.